Berry's World
Saturday, July 12, 2003
 
SOMETIMES THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY

Take a look at this story from MSNBC.

The crux of it is that 44-year-old Kenneth Ross came home and accused his 49-year-old, wheelchair bound brother Frank Ross of stealing his Yankees hat. When the elder Ross denied it, young Kenneth stabbed his brother in the torso. Frank Ross was pronounced dead an hour later at the hospital.

The story doesn't mention it, but I just have to assume that alcohol was involved. I mean, it would have to be, wouldn't it?

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I LOVE L.A.

Living in a big market has some drawbacks, but there are some advantages as well. One of them is we sometimes get to see things before the rest of the country. Case in point: right now on our local CBS affiliate they are showing the infomercial urging Jerry Springer to run for the U.S. Senate.

It's kind of tough to figure out what political ideas Jerry would bring to the table, as most of the infomercial is spent explaining what gifts and trinkets you get when you donate to the cause. T-shirts, bumper stickers, and (seriously) a Jerry Springer CD of Rockabilly songs.

($15 = Bumper Sticker, $25 = T-Shirt, $50 = Bumper Sticker, T-Shirt and CD, $100 = Personalized Autographed Picture)

In case you are interested in supporting candidate Springer, his website is Run Jerry Run.

UPDATE: Jerry's brother says that even though it may cost him his job, he'll include a Bumper Sticker with every premium donation!
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WHO THE HELL ISN'T A CONTENDER?

The Washington Post continues their series of spotlight stories on the 'contenders' for the Democratic nomination for President with an article on former Illinois Senator Carol Moseley Braun.

Does anybody, even the candidate herself, think that Braun has the remotest of hopes of being in the race after Iowa's primary?

It says right here that she does not.


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Friday, July 11, 2003
 
THE KISS OF DEATH

Fans of the TV program Boston Public can begin saying their goodbye's tonight, as the David E. Kelley effort is moved to Friday nights on Fox. As most people know, Friday is the black hole for TV programs. Shows dispatched to the first night of the weekend may languish on life support for a while, but they never last long.
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SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING

Josh Marshall is all over the Niger Uranium story, and how it certainly appears that CIA Director George Tenet will be made the fall guy. Considering that Tenet is the only holdover from the previous administration, how long will it be before Andy Sullivan, Ann Coulter, and Glenn Reynolds start blaming President Clinton for the entire fiasco?

Not long, says me.
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THE STORY THAT WON’T JUST DIE

Even now, months after the story should have faded from memory, you can’t wander around the political blogs and websites without seeing a story or two about Jason Blair. My take is that this was a one-day story, at best. Big deal, the New York Times had a lazy, unqualified reporter on their staff that made up facts in his stories.

Today we find out that Blair 's girlfriend at the time of the scandal, Zuza Glowacka, wants a book deal to tell her life story. What in God’s name has she ever accomplished that could possibly make her think that anybody would give a fat rat’s carcass about anything she would have to say?

I can only imagine that the same day this book is released is the same day each and every copy makes it into the discount bin at Barnes and Noble.

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Thursday, July 10, 2003
 
IS HE SERIOUS?

Jerry Springer will file papers as early as tomorrow to run for the U.S. Senate. Now the cynic in me says that Jerry is just prepping for a show called The Senate Candidates That Have Paid For Hookers With Personal Checks And The Voters Who Ignore Them, but maybe I'm wrong.

One thing I don't understand is why Jerry, who presumably would run for an Ohio senate seat, is planning on running an infomercial touting his candidacy in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Memphis, San Antonio, New Orleans, and New York. Now I'm not a political or geographical expert, but I would think that the potential Ohio voters in those cities is almost zero.

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NOT EXACTLY A SURE THING

Bad Boys II, the new Will Smith-Martin Lawrence flick opens next week, and I figure it will be a pretty big hit, but I wouldn't bet the rent money on it. Considering that Smith has been the star of 2 of the biggest money losers of all time would certainly give me pause if I were asked to invest in a Smith picture.

According to the movie website The Numbers, Ali and The Wild, Wild West lost over 120 million dollars between them.

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THAT JUST SEEMS WRONG

Considering that our federal budget is going to be running a deficit for, well, for quite a while at least, should the Bush Administration be doling out bonuses to political appointees?

I, for one, think not.

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AH, THOSE PRIORITIES

I don’t know how things are playing around the nation, but tonight’s local news in Los Angeles played it this way:

Pittsburgh Pirates 1st baseman Randall Simon knocks down the sausage mascot in Milwaukee last night, and that story got an average of 60 seconds coverage on the various local news programs.

2 more American soldiers die in Iraq garnering an average less than 30 seconds of coverage.

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GO WEST, JASON, BUT JUST GO

Jason Kidd is a great basketball player, but he is showing himself to be less than a great guy. Kidd, a free agent for the New Jersey Nets, told team management yesterday that either they fire their head coach, former Laker Byron Scott, or he will bolt to, more than likely, San Antonio.

While I don't have a dog in this fight, I certainly hope that the Nets tell Jason 'It's been great having you, but WE decide who the coach is, not you. Enjoy Texas."
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GET IN LINE GIRLS

We've officially hit rock-bottom in the reality TV genre, as NBC debuts Who Wants To Marry My Dad this coming Monday. Now, one would think that most women would be a bit more discerning than running for the chance to marry a man they have never met before. In fact, all they know about their possible future husband is that he is bald a as a coot, a single parent, and has been unable to fashion a successful marriage together. In fact, he is such a failure with women that the Mueller children have to enlist the help of a national TV network to palm him off on some unsuspecting female.

Why would women rush for this 'opportunity'?

Because they get a chance to be on TV. That's how anxious people are to be on TV. They will marry somebody they don't know and more than likely falls below any standards that women usually set for their mates just for the chance to be on television. Can't you just smell the desperation?

And that's not even the worst case.

The worst case of desperation for attention just has to be Barbara Payne. Miss Payne, 21, 7 months pregnant, and under house arrest for felony burglary, violated the terms of her probation to rush to Chicago to appear on the Jerry Springer show that airs tomorrow. She got caught and had a year added to her probation for the opportunity to go on Jerry's show and complain that her sister was doing the nasty with her boyfriend. (She later told the judge that the affair was made up.)

Doesn't anybody in this country get enough attention?

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NOW HERE’S A REVISIONIST HISTORIAN

Edward Klein, author of the new book The Kennedy Curse: Why Tragedy Has Haunted America's First Family for 150 Years, has been all over the airwaves recently. In an effort to peddle his work, Klein seems to blame the deaths of John Kennedy Jr,Carolyn Bessette, and her sister on Bessette for being obsessed with getting the perfect pedicure. So obsessed, Klein claims, that she was late to the airport, causing Kennedy to have to fly at night, when he wasn’t overly comfortable.

What a crock.

The reason John-John is gone-gone is because HE made a reckless decision to fly when he shouldn’t have. Kennedy was just recovering from a broken foot, had no instrument rating, didn’t file a flight plan, was flying in conditions that would give a veteran pilot pause, and in a plane with which he had very little experience.

Of course the truth might not sell as many copies as trying to pin the blame on the wife you’ve attempted to portray as a coked-up, unfaithful bitch, right Ed?

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Wednesday, July 09, 2003
 
WHO'S THE NATION'S WORST FOSTER MOTHER?

In this corner we have Leslie Sue Smoot, a foster mother who also runs a day care center, who left 2 children unattended in her sports utility vehicle for 5 hours yesterday. When the two boys were eventually found, the five year old was dead, and the three year old died later at the hospital. Smoot originally claimed that she thought somebody else was to bring the kids into the day care center. Later, she claimed that she forgot about the kids.

In the other corner we have Renee Johnson, who dumped the body of a severely disabled girl in a garbage bag at the Harlem River transfer station late Tuesday. Johnson claims she has a 'panic -stricken lapse of judgment'.

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WHAT A LETDOWN

You can only imagine my excitement when I began hearing claims that the U.S. military had developed x-ray sunglasses that can see through clothing. I figured if the military has them in use now, how long could it be before they will be the featured product in the Sharper Image catalogue?

Sadly, the rumor appears to have no merit.

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LOS ANGELES: MORNINGWOOD CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

If you are interested in doing the weather on a local morning news show in Los Angeles, there are three simple requirements: You must be female, you must be able to read the weather reports that have been written for you, and you must have gotten a boob job. Of the three, the reading requirement is the least stringently enforced.

On our local Fox station, we have Jillian Barberie, whose ego is almost as large as her chest. She seems to think she has some talent, although after watching her for five minutes it is quite clear that she has gotten where she is due to her parents good genes and her plastic surgeons work.

On our CBS station there is Lisa Joyner, who at 5 AM this morning was wearing a cocktail dress that would be considered slutty in a dance club, let alone on news set. (Her bio on the Channel 2 website include's this amusing piece of puffery: She also delivers entertainment news features (Remember who broke the story that J. Lo and Ben were getting married? It wasn’t Lisa. But it could have been!)

Now, I'm not complaining, but I imagine that some folks tune in just to hear the weather without developing a chubby.

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YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!

Now, I'm sure you will be as shocked as I was, but Britney Spears is now admitting that she is NOT a virgin. I know, I know. She just SEEMS so virginal, right?
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Tuesday, July 08, 2003
 
TRANSLATING BLUMENTHAL

I have been making my way though Sidney Blumenthal’s opus The Clinton Wars, and it’s been rough going. Overall the book is quite interesting, however Blumenthal clearly clings to the notion that if you can say something in 50 words, then 500 words must be even better. At times, I find myself wishing I had either the CliffsNotes to the book, or an accompanying translation. Consider this passage starting on page 48:

Political gatherings and even dinner parties can suddenly be transformed into occasions when crowds become atavistic. As the pioneer sociologist Gustave Le Bon wrote in his nineteenth century study The Crowd, “social illusions” of a “hypnotic order” can take on the power of a crowd in many forms, from rabble to noble castes, from groups of thousands to this of a half dozen.

Now, I am not totally sure, but I think what Blumenthal is trying to say here is:

I’m smarter that you are.

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Monday, July 07, 2003
 
MCGOVERN REDUEX?

Here’s a pretty good example of the apple not falling far from the tree.

Flashback to the fall of 1972: I was around 9 years old, and while I had no idea about any of the prevailing issues of the day, I had been hearing on TV how Nixon was a shoe-in to win the presidential election. That’s why I was so surprised that my dad had a McGovern campaign poster hanging in his apartment.

How could you vote for McGovern, Dad? Don’t you know he’s gonna lose?” I asked.

Yeah, I know, but I have to live with myself after I vote, and I couldn’t do that if I voted for Nixon.” He answered.

Flash forward to the present: This past weekend I'm talking with a fairly conservative friend of mine, and he asks me who I’m gonna vote for.

I’m leaning towards Dean.” I tell him.

How can you consider voting for him? He’d get killed by Bush.” My friend says.

Yeah, I know, but I have to live with myself after I vote, and I couldn’t do that if I voted for Bush.” I answered.

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