Berry's World
Saturday, March 13, 2004
 
AND SAVE YOUR VISION WEEK COMES TO AN END

It seems like only yesterday we heard the proclamation:

Now, therefore, I, George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim March 7 through March 13, 2004, as Save Your Vision Week. I urge all Americans to participate by making eye care and eye safety an important part of their lives and to get regular eye examinations.

Yet, in the blink of an eye, Save Your Vision Week is over. I hope you all made eye care AND eye safety an important part of your lives.

Of course, while Save Your Vision Week is gone until next year, please, dear God please keep in mind that it's still Irish-American Month, Women's History Month, and American Red Cross Month.
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WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE KIDDING, SENATOR?

10-19-03 Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, speaking of the Medicare Bill, says Democrats would 'absolutely not' have any qualms about a filibuster if they don't like the final product.

11-23-03 In an extraordinary House vote, which GOP leaders held open for nearly three hours while they pursued Republican holdouts, the Medicare Bill passes 220-215. Massachusetts Democratic Senators Edward Kennedy and John Kerry promise a filibuster.

11-24-03 Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, speaking of the Medicare Bill, says 'We have a number of procedural options available to us, and we're going to use them all.'

11-25-03 Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle votes to end a filibuster on the Medicare Bill, and the bill passes the Senate, 54 to 44.

3-13-04 Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle calls for a new vote on the Medicare Bill.

With all due respect Senator Daschle, I'm sure you'll forgive us for not exactly counting on you to help us on this one.
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A BAD TUNA SANDWICH HAS ME CHANNELING MICKEY KAUS

Little Boys and Ballots
Why won’t Democrats admit they’ve nominated a pedophile?
By Mickey Kaus
Updated Saturday, March 13, 2004, at 6:50 PM PT

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due!: It sure seems like the initial stories about Eta and al-Qaeda being responsible for the terrorist attack in Spain are falling flat, despite the best intentions of Spanish officials. If I were John Kerry, I’d be covering my tracks, and trying to erase any records of my covert trips to Spain with numerous carry-on backpacks…6:57 P.M.

Update And Correction: Last week, in passing, I may have referred to John Kerry's checkered, violent and criminal past. Something about shady business dealings, unaccounted for bodies, and a river of blood winding itself back to the Senator. Further, I may have mentioned something about Kerry's incestuous relationship with his second wife’s sister, his predilection for underage Asian women, and how his first act as President would be to free Saddam Hussein and name him Secretary of State. On advice from counsel, I would like to say I regret that, and would like to put it behind me.

P.S.:I still stand by the integrity of my remarks, but I currently don’t have the documents handy to prove my case. I may have left them at Van Go’s Ear in Venice, and once I check with the lost and found, I will repost my obviously honest and true remarks...(So, why bring it up?-ed Because Mike Kinsley wets his pants and cries like a girl whenever the word 'attorney' is mentioned around him.)...3:21 P.M.

Boys, Ballots: If you were running John Kerry's campaign, then, wouldn't you want to get out in front of the simmering ‘Kerry’s A Pedophile’ meme that is about to break in Newsweek, The NY Post's Page Six gossip column, and the reputable weblog Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler? Kerry trying to hide behind the liberal media, and hoping the story doesn’t bury him seems to have Bob Shrum’s fingerprints all over it, but that’s what sunk Al Gore, isn’t it?1:05 P.M.

If You Knew Peggy Sue: Don't avoid reading Peggy Noonan’s piece just because you think she’s so much smarter than you will ever be, because she really dumbs it down for the Kerry supporters:

Barring a complete personality transplant for the Democratic standard-bearer, or President Bush’s startling announcement that he is going to go to work for Osama bin Laden, there is no way that 43 won’t do what 41 couldn’t, that being serving a second term.

(So, she’s saying there is no real point in voting, right?-ed. Exactly! It’s bad news for us Democrats!)...11:15 A.M.

He Came. He Flipped. He Flopped: In an effort to rehabilitate his slumping reputation after his prediction prior to the Iraq war (Take Iraq plus the points!), John Zogby is reporting that Iowa is in play. Right now the Zogster gives Kerry a 52% chance to win the Hawkeye State in November. I'd probably give that idea more weight if the regulars at the Drake Diner in Des Moines weren't STILL talking about Kerry ordering pancakes, but then switching to a Denver Omelette while campaigning in January. If he's flip-flopping on his breakfast order, what else will he flip-flop on? Before long, Kerry may decide he's a Republican...9:31 A.M.

Spin Kerry Can't Fight: Historian Douglas Brinkley tells me that his longtime neighbor ran into Kerry in a Washington eatery several years ago, and Kerry was both rude and impolite. Considering that nearly all Americans have a story like this, and President Bush is so likable, this may be what kills Kerry by the Democratic Convention. Perhaps we should start a brand new Kerry Withdrawal Contest. Hillary, are you listening?...8:05 A.M.
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STOP IT, YOU'RE KILLING ME!

Jokes, Pranks, And Hijinks:

Man Sentenced In Prank Turned Fatal

A 46-yearold man was sentenced in federal court Tuesday to a year in prison for unintentionally killing a friend who served him a beer can filled with urine. David C. Shippentower pleaded guilty last year to involuntary manslaughter in an incident that started as a prank. Shippentower punched Leonard D. Strong, 45, at least twice in the head, causing a brain injury that eventually killed Strong.

Prank Caller Tells Teen His Dad Is Dead

One night, a person identifying himself as Col. Frank Johnson called 14-year-old Brandon Hougham's cell phone and delivered some devastating news. "We have some tragic news for you," Brandon recalled the colonel saying. "Your father has been killed in the line of duty." But the father, Donn Hougham, was fine. His son had received a prank phone call from a Redmond High School senior who has been charged with misdemeanor harassment for the stunt, according to public records.

Teen Nearly Shot By Police In Prank


A teenage prank almost turned deadly Friday night. A Federal Express driver saw someone run into a house on NE 19th Place wearing a ski mask, gloves, and carrying a baseball bat and a handgun. Bellevue police responded with their guns drawn. Suddenly, a 16-year-old boy walked out with the baseball bat and gun in hand. "The safety (on my AR 15 assault rifle) was off, my finger was on the trigger and I had my scope on his chest," said Corporal John Manning.

Bomb Prank 'Killed Granny'

The grieving daughters of a beloved grandmother who died after suffering an apparent heart attack while evacuating her West Side office building after a fake bomb threat said yesterday they hope cops nab the prankster who "cost us our mother." Marilyn Alexander, 53, of Brooklyn, collapsed in a stairwell Feb. 27 as she and other workers in the office building at 330-340 W. 34th St. were leaving after someone called in the bomb scare that turned out to be bogus.

RHAM Fire Began As Prank

A fire that started as a prank in the bathroom of the high school caused major damage and lead to the arrest of a student on Tuesday. RHAM High School was filled with smoke and soot after a fire shutdown 18 classrooms and the building was evacuated. Around 3:30 p.m. police arrested a 15-year-old boy and charged him with arson, criminal mischief and reckless endangerment.

Initiation Prank Ends In A Killing;
Man Shot In Face During Ritual At Masonic Lodge In New York


The initiation rituals at the Masonic lodge here had been bathed in secrecy over the years. The climax of Monday night's ceremony was to be a simple prank. A new member of the Fellow Craft Club, a select group within the lodge, would sit in a chair while an older member stood 20 feet away and fired a handgun loaded with blanks. The shooter, a 76-year-old Mason, Albert Eid, was carrying two guns, a .22-caliber handgun with blanks in his left pocket, and a .32-caliber gun with live rounds in his right pocket. The wrong gun. He reached into his right pants pocket, pulled out the wrong gun and shot William James, a 47-year-old fellow Mason, in the face, killing him, the authorities said.

Odd Prank Leaves Nail In Handyman's Brain

An Australian handyman admitted he was stupid to shoot himself in the head with a nail gun in a misguided prank that left him with a nail lodged in his brain. Brad Shorten, a father of three from Victoria state, was enjoying a few beers with friends after working on his house when they began joking about industrial accidents. Shorten, 33, picked up a nail gun that he thought was empty, pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger.

Pupils Banned For Snowball Prank

Up to 60 youngsters from Seaham School of Technology, in County Durham, were sent home on 3 March after pranks during recent bad weather. Head teacher Bob Dingle banned them for 15 days after one pupil suffered a detached retina when he was hit by ice.

Charges After Egg Prank Tragedy

Three teenagers have been charged with disorderly behaviour over a Halloween prank in Runcorn after which a pensioner died of a heart attack. Don Rennie, 73, collapsed and died after chasing a group of youths from his home when eggs were thrown at his house on the Hallwood Park Estate. Two 13-year-olds and a 16-year-old have been charged with disorderly behaviour with intent to cause harassment.

Girl's Hanging Death Was 'Prank That Went Wrong'

The death of a 12-year-old girl who hanged herself on Christmas Day was a “prank that went wrong” a coroner ruled today. Georgina Phelan was discovered by her mother Debbie in a bedroom cupboard which had been fashioned into a theatrical-type changing room where she regularly spent hours dressing up. On Christmas Day evening Mrs Phelan went upstairs and found her daughter in such a pose she thought she was kneeling and praying. She then discovered a black scarf tied to a pole in the cupboard and wrapped around her lifeless child’s neck.
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YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE REASON?

Josh Marshall senses something is wrong:

You know something's amiss when a campaign rolls out positive ads one week and then hurries out negative and cutting ones just a week later.

So, what could be amiss?

Could it be that undecided voters, by a 2-1 margin, feel it was inappropriate for President Bush's re-election campaign to use images from the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in a television commercial, according to a poll released Friday?
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HE SAID IT

Hearing President Bush these days constantly complain about "the politicians" and John Kerry being part of a "Washington mind-set," and saying things like "I got news for the Washington crowd" is like hearing Courtney Love bitch about junkies.

Bill Maher in Salon
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TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES

The Center for American Progress helpfully provides us with a brief history of White House intimidation:

MEDICARE ACTUARY THREATENED WITH FIRING IF HE TOLD TRUTH TO CONGRESS: "The government's top expert on Medicare costs was warned that he would be fired if he told key lawmakers about a series of Bush administration cost estimates that could have torpedoed congressional passage of the White House-backed Medicare prescription-drug plan. Richard S. Foster, the chief actuary for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services told colleagues last June that he would be fired if he revealed numbers relating to the higher estimate to lawmakers." [Source: Knight-Ridder, 3/11/04]

FMR. TREASURY SECRETARY THREATENED WITH INVESTIGATION AFTER TELLING TRUTH: Three days after Paul O'Neill criticized the Bush Administration's Iraq policy, the Administration "began an investigation into whether any laws or regulations had been violated by O'Neill." The probe came despite O'Neill having specifically "cleared all of the documents with the Treasury general counsel's office." The probe ended up fully absolving O'Neill. [Source: AP, 1/13/04; Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 1/14/04; CNN, 2/6/04]

LINDSEY FIRED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT COSTS: "Top White House adviser Larry Lindsey [was fired] when he told a newspaper that an Iraq war could cost $200 billion." [Source: Christian Science Monitor, 12/17/02]

ZINNI FIRED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT FOREIGN POLICY: "General Anthony Zinni, a retired Marine general who was Bush's Middle East mediator, angered the White House when he told a foreign policy forum in October that Bush had far more pressing foreign policy priorities than Iraq and suggested there could be a prolonged, difficult aftermath to a war. He was not reappointed as Mideast envoy." [Source: AP, 7/27/03]

TROOPS THREATENED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT COMBAT IN IRAQ: After soldiers in Iraq raised questions about the Bush Administration's deceptive WMD comments, Gen. John Abizaid said no soldiers "are free to say anything disparaging about the secretary of defense, or the president of the United States. Whatever action may be taken, whether it's a verbal reprimand or something more stringent, is up to the commanders on the scene." [Source: ABC News, 7/16/03]

REPORTER DEFAMED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT TROOPS: "A White House operative alerted cyber-gossip Matt Drudge to the fact that [ABC News correspondent Jeffrey] Kofman is not only openly gay, he's Canadian. Drudge said he was unaware of the ABC story until 'someone from the White House communications shop tipped me to it'…White House press secretary Scott McClellan tried to be nonchalant, indicating that he wasn't planning an investigation of the incident." [Source: Washington Post, 7/18/03 and 7/20/03]

GENERAL DISPARAGED FOR TELLING TRUTH ABOUT TROOP LEVEL NEEDS: Despite the fact that it appears he was probably accurate, "Defense Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz criticized the Army's chief of staff, Gen. Eric Shinseki, after Shinseki told Congress in February that the occupation could require 'several hundred thousand troops.' Wolfowitz called Shinseki's estimate 'wildly off the mark.'" [Source: USA Today, 6/3/03]

CIA BLAMED FOR TELLING TRUTH ABOUT BOGUS IRAQ-NUCLEAR CLAIM: Despite the CIA having made advance objections to the White House about the false Iraq/nuclear claim, "President Bush and his national security adviser yesterday placed full responsibility on the Central Intelligence Agency for the inclusion in this year's State of the Union address of questionable allegations that Iraq's Saddam Hussein was trying to buy nuclear weapons." [Source: Washington Post, 7/12/03 and 7/14/03]

CIA OPERATIVE EXPOSED BECAUSE HUSBAND TOLD TRUTH ABOUT IRAQ: According to government sources, "Administration officials leaked the name of an undercover CIA officer to a journalist after her husband, former U.S. ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV, publicly challenged President Bush's claim that Iraq had tried to buy uranium ore from Africa. 'Clearly, it was meant purely and simply for revenge,' a senior official said of the alleged leak." [Source: Washington Post, 9/28/03]
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MAYBE IT WAS BAD INTEL FROM THE CIA

President Bush marked International Women's Week yesterday by paying tribute to women reformers, including some glowing words about Fathi Jahmi:

Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy.

Of course, this may have been an even better tribute were Fathi Jahmi actually a woman, rather than a MALE 62-year-old civil engineer.
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Friday, March 12, 2004
 
ROBBING THE CRADLE OR WISHFUL THINKING?

Newsday reports that a teenage boy from testified Wednesday that a year ago he had intercourse with his best friend's mother, who has been charged with statutory rape. However, an attorney for Marilu Fischetti, 43, who is on trial, accused of raping and sodomizing the then 15-year-old boy, said that the encounter never happened and that the boy made it up.

Of course, as some attorneys are wont to do, defense lawyer Paul Delle may be misleading the jury. At one point Delle disputed the boy's allegations, branding them merely a fantasy, by saying:

This is every teenager's dream - I'm going to have sex with a hot 42-year-old woman.


Here is the allegedly 'hot
42-year-old woman'.
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YOU WOULD THINK I WAS MAKING THIS UP, WOULDN'T YOU?

Poppy, over at Patridiot Watch, points out that while we have Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), in Poland there may be a need for Mothers Against Drunk Driving Nuns on Tractors (MADDNT).

In the nun's defense, she was only 17 times over Poland's legal alcohol limit for driving.
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WELL, THOSE STORIES CANT BE RIGHT BECAUSE I DISAGREE WITH THEM

A few days ago Instapundit noted the similarities between Daytona and Guantanamo Bay, and to prove his point, Instapundit quoted from 'this article in, of all places, The Guardian'.

After posting 5 paragraphs from The Guardian's story showing that time spent at Guantanamo Bay was a teenager's equivalent to an all expenses paid trip to Disney World, Instapundit finished up with this:

No doubt an apology will be forthcoming, from those who analogized Guantanamo to Buchenwald.

While I'm not sure 'who analogized Guantanamo to Buchenwald', or if they apologized, I do wonder if Instapundit got around to seeing this story, in, of all places, The Guardian, or these stories in The Mirror, which indicate that some prisoners at Guantanamo Bay didn't spend all their time watching movies, playing football and learning about the solar system.

Considering Instapundit hasn't blogged about the differing stories coming out of Guantanamo Bay, perhaps he terms them the same way Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger terms the allegations of sexual harassment against him:

Old news.
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THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

Like most Americans, I'm an absolute nut for soccer. So, if you're looking for information on European Soccer's Champions League, you need to be checking out Uncle Horn Head, who is all over the vital story.
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CALPUNDIT HITS THE BIGTIME!!

In what was inspiring news to bloggers nationwide, Kevin Drum has signed on to be the resident blogger for The Washington Monthly. While Drum has been quite open about taking the position with a magazine that he has admired for over two decades, one fact that he has kept ultra-secret has been the amount of money he will be paid for his work.

Happily, the crack investigative team of Berry’s World has been on the case, and uncovered some surprising financial information. With that information in hand, we have openly blackmailed the soon to be former Calpundit to come clean about his remuneration.

Drum now admits that he will be paid an 'obscene amount of money'. Further, Drum also feels that President Bush’s tax-cuts are 'misunderstood', and will eventually lead to brighter economic times for America:

'Hey, the über-wealthy are the ones paying the lion’s share of taxes, and we should be able to expect to get most or all of it back.'

Of course, Drum claims that his style of blogging will only minimally change when he starts blogging for Washington Monthly fulltime. Such changes will include the recognition that the unemployment situation under President Bush has actually improved since he took office, that Senator Kerry is a flip-flopper who is weak on defense, and Drum's switch to the Republican Party.
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PLEASE TIP YOUR WAITRESSES

JON STEWART

Bush went on to attack the Democrats' policies. (Bush says) 'Their agenda is to increase federal taxes, to build a wall around this country and to isolate America from the rest of the world.' Hmm. So you're concerned the Democrats might do something that would damage America's standing in the world. Interesting...that you would think that's still possible.

JAY LENO

President Bush says today he knows exactly where he wants to take this country. Is that good? Last time he took us somewhere it was Iraq.

And today, President Bush said he doesn't care whether Osama (bin Laden) is found in Pakistan or Afghanistan -- just as long as he's found before November.

John Kerry said today he may send his own fact finding mission to Iraq, and Bush said, 'Hey, if they find any weapons of mass destruction, I'll pay you for 'em.'

Did you hear this? Yesterday, John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked lying group I've ever seen.' And that says something because Kerry's both a lawyer, and he's a politician. I think he knows something about crooked liars.

In his latest campaign commercial, President Bush's talks about 'times of change.' If he thinks these are times of change wait till November.'

As you know, John Kerry had a purple heart from Vietnam. Big Deal. Dick Cheney has a purple heart from deep dish pizza.'

Yesterday, the Bush administration announced a new plan to crackdown on the finances of terrorists. I think this could work - if Bush is half as successful hurting the finances of terrorists as he's been at hurting the finances of Americans I would not wanna be in their shoes!

President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial focusing on his accomplishments. That's why it's only a 60 second spot.'

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?'
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THREE LATE TOUCHDOWNS

Is it just me, or does the conservative's line on jobs, 'Nine straight months-going in the RIGHT direction' seem a lot like a football coach bragging about scoring 3 touchdowns in the 4th quarter only to lose 51-24?
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THE DUCK TAKES THE LOW-ROAD

In a shameless attempt to increase his Google referrals, the Delusional Duck has a link to a naked and or nude picture of Paris Hilton's boobs and or breasts.

Shame on the Duck for thinking of this idea before me.
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YEAH, A SCAR CAN BE TOUGH

Melissa Ann Rowland was charged with criminal homicide in the death of her stillborn baby after she ignored repeated warnings in the last few weeks of pregnancy that the twins she was carrying could die or suffer brain damage unless she had an immediate Caesarean section.

Prosecutors said Rowland, 28, didn't want the scars that accompany the surgery.
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WHAT UNEMPLOYMENT PROBLEM?

To hear Kevin McCullough tell it, President Bush is just a jobs-making machine. To make you believe this he has a whole bunch of statistics, and merely asks you to check one statistic at the door:

Unemployment was at 4.2% the day President Bush took office and unemployment is at 5.6% today.
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Thursday, March 11, 2004
 
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GRACE

Will and Grace were discussing the 'Flipping Dykes' tonight when Grace uttered:

'I thought they were just a myth. Like the Weapons of Mass Destruction.'
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SORRY ABOUT THE LIGHT BLOGGING

But I am struggling to get over what appears to be the flu. I can't prove it, but I'm almost sure Matt Welch has something to do with me being ill.
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SPEAKING OF THE NHL...

The NHL suspended Vancouver Canuck Todd Bertuzzi for the rest of the season and the playoffs, and maybe more after that for his cheap-shot attack on Avalanche player Steve Moore, resulting in Moore's broken neck.

I hope that Bertuzzi ends up being suspended for all of next year, as his actions were deplorable, yet I also hope the police stay out of it. I figure the league should clean up their own messes, and the police should not be involved. Of course, that's merely one hockey fan's opinion.
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YOU THINK YOU'RE TIRED?

Imagine how Derek Morris is feeling these days.

Morris is a player in the NHL, whose rules mandate that teams cannot play games on three consecutive days, and cannot play 4 games in five days.

Sunday, Morris laced them up for the Colorado Avalanche, and played a home game against Calgary. Monday, the Avalanche traveled to Vancouver for their second game in two nights. Then on Tuesday, Morris was traded to Phoenix, and flew to Los Angeles to play against the Kings. And yesterday, Morris and his new team played the back end of a home and home series with the Kings in Phoenix.

4 nights. 4 games. 4 different cities.
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
 
YEAH, THAT SEEMS FAIR, DOESN'T IT?

Tommy Chong sold bongs over the Internet.

JAIL TIME: 9 Months.

Leslie Smoot left her two foster children in her Cadillac Escalade for five hours in near 100-degree heat, killing both of them, and during her testimony, Smoot seemed to indicate that God was an accomplice, 'I cried out to the Lord: Lord, why didn't you tell me the babies were in my car?'

JAIL TIME: 6 Months.
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004
 
LEAVE IT TO CALIFORNIA

Last October I poo poo'd an idea in Maryland to lower the minimum to 16. In fact, I would be for repealing the 26th Amendment and restoring the voting age to 21.

Now, after a demonstration in Berkeley, state Senator John Vasconcellos, (D-Santa Clara), proposed 16-year-olds getting half a vote, and 14 year-olds getting a quarter of a vote.

So, after an election where Gary Coleman got 12,549 votes for governor, and a porn star got nearly 10,000 votes, we're thinking of allowing more idiots to vote.

It makes me proud to be a Californian.
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SO VERY, VERY PROUD

Our economy is moving in the right direction. New jobs are being created; 364,000 jobs in the last six months, I believe it is, have been created. The economy is moving in the right direction because of the policies that this President has taken and the policies that he is advocating.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan---March 9, 2004

We've added more than 350,000 new jobs over the last six months. The tax relief we passed is working.

President George W. Bush---March 8, 2004

You have to admire the adminsitration for touting that in six short months they have created 364,000 new jobs, which is merely 14,000 less jobs than were created in December 1998.
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Monday, March 08, 2004
 
I'M YOUR GARDEN VARIETY SNOB

Michael Spires, over at Musing's musings demanded that I take the Manor House Snob Quiz, and I came in at 46% snob. Apparently my failure to own fruit knives really, really hurt my score.

While I was pleased with my score, as I consider myself a blogger of the people, Michael, who came in at 63% snob, asked me never to visit his blog again.
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AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

Maybe you didn’t know it, but Republican insiders have been having a contest to see who could make the most ridiculous and unbelievable statement concerning jobs in this country.

In third place: President George W. Bush:

We've added more than 350,000 new jobs over the last six months. The tax relief we passed is working.

(Josh Marshall points out the silliness in the president's entry.)

In second place: Vice President Dick Cheney:

If the Democratic policies had been pursued over the last two or three years, the kind of tax increases that both Kerry and Edwards have talked about, we would not have had the kind of job growth we've had.


(The vice president's effort caused Molly Ivins to rank it ahead of Rod Paige calling the teacher's union 'a terrorist organization.')

And your winner: Mary Matalin

What the Democrats don't tell you and don't put in context, and we need to do for this race and need the American people the truth, here, is that 75 percent of the jobs lost in the last year were lost in 2001.

(If Matalin's claim that 75% of the jobs lost between 3-03 and 3-04 were lost in 2001 works, Republicans may move the job losses back to 1998.)
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THE OFFICIAL HAITI PRIMER

If you are looking to catch up on the situation in Haiti, you could do a lot worse than reading Factivism's thorough coverage. Factivism is on the story like Starr Jones on a baked ham. Here's a provocative quote Factivism provides:

No, Aristide did something far worse than stuffing ballots or killing people -- he tried to raise the minimum wage to the princely sum of two dollars a day. This move outraged the American corporations -- and their local lackeys -- who have for generations used Haiti as a pool of dirt-cheap labor and sky-high profits. It was the last straw for the elitist factions, one of which is actually led by an American citizen and former Reagan-Bush appointee, manufacturing tycoon Andy Apaid.

There is a whole lot more to the story than is being reported by the mainstream media.
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A CLARIFICATION, OF SORTS

The other day I posted concerning the firing of Sandra Tsing Loh by the local NPR station, KCRW.

Matt Welch and I have a disagreement about the situation, but one point Matt brought up was right on the money. In my original post, I left the impression that a major part of my thinking was that the commentary that cost Loh her job was not funny.

I don't think it was funny, but as Matt correctly pointed out, that is totally irrelevant.

What is relevant is this passage from the LA Times concerning the firing:

The station's policy on program content states that inappropriate language may not be used on the air. "The only time actionable language is permitted on KCRW," the policy says, is in a "news actuality," the radio equivalent of a quotation in a printed story.

"If a programmer violates this policy, management will cancel the program and end the relationship with the programmer," the policy adds.


There was a policy. Loh knew of the policy. Loh violated the policy. Loh suffered the consequences that were laid out in the policy.

The only person Loh can blame for the loss of her job is herself, and looking into the motives and intentions of KCRW, or trying to wrap Low in the cloak of free speech is meaningless.
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HE HAS TO BE LYING BECAUSE I HATE HIM SO MUCH

Apparently that's how Kim S. Woo rationalized her work in this week's edition of Pundit Pap on American Politics Journal. Pundit Pap is a snarky recap of the Sunday talk shows, and Woo was so intent on attacking Tim Russert and Rudy Giuliani that she conveniently decided to ignore history and flat out lie about what they said.

Here's how Woo nailed Russert:

Russert showed an historic Press the Meat minute: John F. Kennedy on his choice for Veep. JFK said that he didn't know of a single veep candidate that has ever won a single electoral vote. He was right then - and he's still right. People vote for president, not vice president. And then Russert -- stupid as he is -- said that LBJ helped Kennedy win Texas. Yeah, right, fat boy.

So, how did the Catholic from Massachusetts do in Texas in 1960? Senator Kennedy, with a running mate from Texas, swamped Vice President Nixon by a whopping 46,257 votes. In fact, here's the percentage of the Texas vote grabbed by the Democratic candidate from the era:

1952-Stevenson (Illinois): 46.7%
1956-Stevenson (Illinois): 44%
1960-Kennedy (Massachusetts): 50.5%
1964-Johnson (Texas): 63.3%
1968-Humphrey (Minnesota): 41.1%
1972-McGovern (South Dakota): 33.3%

You can almost hear Woo saying, 'I don't care what the numbers look like. Fat Boy said it, so you know it's not true!'

When it came to what Giuliani said, Woo didn't like what was said, so she made up her own version. Here's Woo's account:

Russert then asked if Rudy agrees with the premise that if George Bush loses the election -- Osama Bin Laden wins the election. (Watch for this sick theme in later Bush ads: "A vote for Kerry is a vote for Osama.") And Rudy played right to Timmy's point, saying in essence that this is true (like a good little Bush/GE whore -- and let's not forget that General Electric, king of missile manufacturers, owns NBC and Russert's soul). (Emphasis added)

Oh really? Here's the transcript from Meet The Press:

MR. RUSSERT: Congressman Tom Cole, a Republican from Oklahoma, raised some eyebrows when he offered this comment: "I promise you this, if George Bush loses the election, Osama bin Laden wins the election, it's that simple. It will be interpreted that way by enemies of the United States around the world." You agree with that?

MR. GIULIANI: You know, this sort of happens on both sides. You know, Michael Moore's comments and those things about AWOL and deserter, and you sort of get them on both sides. Maybe that was a little bit of partisan excessive zeal.

MR. RUSSERT: I mean, a vote for John Kerry is not a vote for Osama bin Laden.

MR. GIULIANI: A vote for John Kerry is not a vote for Osama bin Laden. It's a vote for the most liberal member of the United States Senate. That would be a better way for them to put it. If you want to vote for the most liberal member of the United States Senate, the most liberal voting record, somebody who's going to raise your taxes, vote for John Kerry. An appeal like that actually has the opposite effect. It probably turns more votes against us than it does for us. (Emphasis added)

Oh, now I get it. By saying that a vote for Senator Kerry was not a vote for Osama bin Laden, that sneaky Giuliani was actually saying that a vote for Senator Kerry was a vote for Osama bin Laden.

The sad thing is that there were so many things to honestly rip Russert and Giuliani on that Woo didn't have to stoop to the Drudge-like levels she did. Of course, this may just be a big campaign by the American Politics Journal to boost readership, and if so, we may as well get ready for an invented story about President Bush and an intern who recently fled the country.
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Sunday, March 07, 2004
 
HOW'D SHE DO IT?

Tonight, KTTV, channel 11 in Los Angeles, is blaring this teaser:

At the Los Angeles Marathon, a woman crossed the finish line first for the first time in 19 years! We'll tell you how she did it tonight at 10!

You wanna know how Tatyana Pozdnyakova did it?

By cleverly accepting the generous 20 and a 1/2-minute head start on the men.
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ANDY'S BREAKFAST IS RUINED

Andrew Sullivan, apparently, nearly blew chunks after reading this foreign policy discussion with Senator John Kerry in this morning's NY Times. What specifically caused Sullivan to become nauseated?

Al Qaeda is mentioned once. I repeat: al Qaeda is mentioned once.

Andy's right. In a discussion taking place over 'the course of an hour', a discussion in which Senator Kerry asked zero questions, in a 1,591 word story of which 295 words are Senator Kerry's, in a story Andy will be surprised to learn was actually written by David E. Sanger and David M. Halbfinger and not Senator Kerry, Al Qaeda is mentioned once.

What Andy fails to mention is that this factoid is absolutely meaningless, unless somehow he wants to hold the Democratic nominee responsible for what reporters write.

Andy's queasiness continued:

My stomach lurches at the thought of another terror attack while Kerry is president.

Um, Andy, considering history, doesn't your tummy get a little upset at the thought of another terror attack while President Bush is in the White House?
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MAKE SURE TO PACK THE SUNTAN LOTION!!

Instapundit is anxiously awaiting an apology from the folks who compared Guantanamo Bay to a concentration camp, and claims that 'there are some similarities' betwixt Guantanamo Bay and popular Spring Break destination Daytona Beach.

Seriously.

On what basis can Instapundit make this seemingly bizarre connection? Why, by liberally quoting this story from The Guardian concerning two Afghan teenagers. To hear the two little shavers tell it, Guantanamo Bay is a pretty great place to be.

Oddly, in a part of the story Instapundit didn't post, the teenager's lot in life actually IMPROVED when they were moved to Guantanamo Bay. They went from villages with 'no electricity and no clinic', with their days filled by working in the fields, to watching movies and playing football, so their glowing reviews are understandable.

What is not understandable is Instapundit believing that all of the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay are being treated this way.
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THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST CHANCE

OK, I've begged, pleaded, and even given out a free sample, yet America has consistently refused my request to watch the FOX comedy Arrested Development.

Well, it looks like FOX is going to make one more push to attract viewers to the struggling program, which was named the Best Series on TV by the Media Week Magazine critics' poll.

Tonight Heather Graham makes a guest appearance, and in ten days Julia Louis-Dreyfus will appear, so why not jump on the Arrested Development bandwagon now? Mark my words, if Arrested Development gets cancelled, you are going to see its reruns on Comedy Central in a couple of years and just be kicking yourself for not watching the funniest comedy on TV since Seinfeld.
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TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS?

You would think that being Governor of California would be a fulltime job, wouldn't you? What, with campaigning for state propositions, running to New York to raise a half a million dollars, and violating election laws, you would think that Governor Schwarzenegger's plate was pretty full.

Well, the Governor's plate is not so full to stop him from joining millions of other Californians and getting a part time job.

While the other millions of Californians getting second jobs are doing it in a struggle to make ends meet, Governor Schwarzenegger doesn't seem to have monetary problems, so it is surprising that he signed on as executive editor of Muscle & Fitness and Flex magazines.

While Governor Schwarzenegger's spokesman Rob Stutzman said "This is something that is important to the governor. It is a nominal amount of time," wouldn't you think that if Governor Schwarzenegger had ANY free time whatsoever, it would be devoted to getting California out of the financial nightmare we are in?
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I CAN ADMIT IT WHEN I'M WRONG

I've long felt that NASCAR was, by far, the most idiotic sport you could watch on TV. My brother tells me that seeing a NASCAR race in person is really quite fun, and I have no reason to think he would lie to me, but I fail to see the enjoyment of watching cars go around in circles.

However, after KNBC had a four hour telecast of the Los Angeles Marathon today, I was clearly mstaken. Good Lord, NASCAR is a Girls Gone Wild video compared to watching people jog the streets of L.A.
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PLEASE TIP YOUR WAITRESSES

JON STEWART

So who is Nader counting on to vote for him this time? He said, "There are conservatives who are furious with Bush over the deficit . . . over many other issues. And they may be looking for an independent candidacy." Conservatives for Nader. Not a large group -- about the same size as the Retarded Death Row Texans for Bush.

DAVID LETTERMAN

We had a scare down in Washington at the White House. A man hopped over the fence surrounding the White House and he was tackled by Secret Service. I believe this is the first person to get into the White House unlawfully since Bush.

George Bush calls John Kerry to congratulate him on winning the big Super Tuesday and being the democratic candidate. Bush is shrewd. While he had Kerry on the phone he also got a $1,000 campaign contribution out of him.

Have you seen any of the new Bush television commercials? Well, they're getting their money's worth, aren't they? In one of the commercials you see George Bush for 30 seconds, in another commercial you get to see George Bush for 60 seconds ... kind of like his stint in the National Guard.

JAY LENO

Well, Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of Democratic delegates he needs to win the nomination. President Bush is different. His magic number is 5. That's the number of Supreme Court judges needed to win.

In a number of interviews yesterday, Dick Cheney said he's become a lightning rod. A lightning rod. You can understand how he feels that way if you have to have your heart jump-started every morning.

After all the voting on Tuesday, President Bush called John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm not sure what they talked about, but we can rule out them swapping war stories.

After failing to win a single state on Tuesday, John Edwards described his campaign as 'The Little Engine That Could.' Afterward, Bush called him and said, 'You're not going to believe this, but I'm reading that book right now.'

CRAIG KILBORN

Republicans have launched round-the-clock commercials promoting George Bush. Don't we already have this -- it's called Fox News.
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